We’ve made it to post number three in the series! Woohoo! In part numero dos, we talked about rage writing, this time around we are going to talk about letting that shit go. Once you’ve written it all out, cried about it, screamed about it .. or did whatever you needed to, the next task is letting it go. Making peace, moving on, going forward anything you want to call it!
Dwelling on events that make you feel horrible or relive the emotions you experienced, will keep making you stuck in that phase. Below are a few of the things that have helped me release those situations and negative feelings.
In my personal journey, I like to take one issue at a time and focus on it. This way I feel like it’s totally resolved. Probably one of the absolute biggest skills to have on this list is the ability to forgive. Forgiveness is always the first thing I try and do. I ask myself if I am able to forgive what has been done or said. Please believe me when I say, if you forgive someone or yourself even for acting a certain way, it makes it a lot easier to move on. I always start here and continue on with the list below!
Journals
If you’re a Pinterest junkie like myself, you see images of journals and planners and planners that double as journals. There are even password protected journals that you can keep on your computer or phone, apps that give you journal prompts, bullet journal and gratitude journals… You get the idea! Now, it took me a while to jump on this train. But as I’ve been processing and going through my emotions, journals have been an amazing help. Rage writing helps get it all out at once, journaling is a safe way to organize your thoughts to further process what is happening. I have scribbled positive affirmations in mine just to make sure my inner awesomeness knows how awesome I still am! I’ve made it almost a nightly practice to at least jot a few lines in the journal before I go to bed.
Doing this gets the stress from the day out into the air. Journaling helps with extremely tumultuous life events because if you don’t feel comfortable talking to a friend, you can write it all out. Essentially you are talking to a friend, yourself, but in a very non-judgemental way! Writing is a great way to get to the root cause of the problem. See my previous post called “The Glory of Rage Writing!”
Break The Ice
If I can’t write it out and feel better the next best thing is to either talk to the person that did you dirty, or talk to someone else about how you are feeling. Please don’t get that confused with talking shit about people, because that is totally not what I mean!
Smack talking not only makes things worse, it doesn’t ever solve anything. What I do mean is, have a conversation with someone you trust, about the situation at hand. Talk to them about what your feeling and maybe they can offer some advice or at the very least some comfort. Jacob is generally the person I turn to when I need someone to talk to. He always listens and gives the best hugs and makes me laugh. More importantly though, he validates my feelings and I am grateful for that!
Venting your emotions to someone that is outside of the situation or event is helpful because they see things differently than you. They aren’t personally invested in the situation other than their attachment to you. This gives them a unique perspective, in which they are able to offer advice or gently remind you to settle down.
Meditation
Yup. I am one of those chicks. Himalayan salt rocks and essential oils galore. All joking aside though, meditation is a valid way to resolve and release negative feelings. People often think of meditation like sitting there muttering “om” while some dreamy music plays. I mean, yeah, it’s that but it is so much more.
Mediation is a great way to be mindful and present in the situation, again if you are dwelling in the past you can’t really deal with the present. Using mediation, you can focus on the emotion and release it. When you are calm you can process things more easily. You also aren’t required to go anywhere to practice! So it is friendly to your mind, body annnd pocket book! The living room, your bedroom, your yard, anywhere you feel comfortable is where you can practice.
Guided meditations are a helpful way to get started, just make sure you can listen to the person’s voice for however long the session is! You can read more about meditation here!
Physical
Being physical is a great way to release tension! Exercise releases endorphins and the extra oxygen provides clarity of mind. One of my sister’s likes to run, when she is feeling overwhelmed or has had a hard week, she runs. If that’s your jam, then embrace it. Once in a more clear state of mind, address the issue at hand and see what you can do to make changes.
Working your muscles while pissed off can help you by taking your aggression out on your workout rather than someone else. Because punching people is bad and jail time is worse!
I’ve been working on a few issues of my own, I’ve written about them, talked to Jacob, taken time for myself, and really thought about what I need to do to make things better.
Sometimes the work takes a while longer to be done though. If you notice a pattern happening.. like for me, I was fine for a few days, then super angry for a while, then happy again.. Making these tools a habit will help you to not keep everything bottled up. These tools help to break up the pattern so you can continue being the badass that you are!
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