Running back and forth to counseling and psychiatrist appointments for my older girls has got me thinking. Not just about my own kiddos but the many others that are seemingly over looked. Kids that are deemed as “problem” children. The ones that refuse to listen, talk back and walk around with a chip on their shoulder.
This article is about helping parents understand how important mental health is for kids. Having tools to cope with the pressures of school, sports, their peers and the media is very crucial to helping those little spaz’s develop into less spazy adults!
Aside from being a mama, I have worked with kiddos for years. My first job was with kids at an after school program. I worked there for 11 years, and then started work at the high school working in the life skills class. While criminal justice is totally my jam, kids will always and forever have a special place in my heart.
I have hung out with kiddos from different backgrounds. The one thing that remains the same with each one of them is that they want someone to listen to them, to feel like they have someone on their side. All of the name calling, the attitude, the eye rolls and everything else isn’t always just them being shitty. They may actually need something from you.
Finding out what that something is, isn’t always the easiest task in the world, especially when every question you ask is met with resistance. For my kiddos I have to take two different approaches to finding out what the root cause is of the problem. For Emory, it takes hours to get the real problem out. For Shelby it’s takes a few minutes. Emory, screams, has a meltdown and gets even more angry if you try to ask what’s wrong. Shelby is quiet and usually will cry if something is really bothering her.
In the end of a big explosion of emotions or a silent outburst of tears, both of my kiddos want the same thing. They want my attention, to vent their issues, just as we adults call a friend to chat on the phone. With all of the changes that had happened in the last year, I decided handling these outbursts was beyond what I could help them with. Enter counseling.
Therapy sessions for kids are just like therapy sessions for adults. They are also just as important. The counselor provides one more outlet for my girls to work through problems. They have also learned valuable tools for coping with things that arise when they are hanging out with their friends, and Jacob and I aren’t around to help them through it.
Mental health is something that can be over looked from time to time, especially when it comes to kids. They need help navigating feelings and different pressures just as we do. Kids are also exposed to multiple media perceptions of how life is supposed to be, or how you are supposed to look and act if you want to be cool. Kids today are subjected more to this than we were when growing up. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Myspace and all of the other social media platforms were non-existent, at least if you were a kid in the 80’s and 90’s they weren’t. Not to mention the vast availability of cell phones.
There are all kinds of social media apps for cell phines. One of which has been a huge problem, musical.ly, now going by a different name. This app has presented a fair amount of problems for my household. So much so that it has been banned. My girls are also not getting a “real” cell phone until they are older. That decision has been a blessing and a curse all at once. Hello, panic attacks when they aren’t waiting for me out side of school, and I have no way to reach them.
They also don’t have any of the social networking platforms I mentioned above. For a few reasons: I don’t believe they are mature enough to have one, they aren’t old enough to have one, they are protected from the bullying that takes place and they dont need to be exposed to all the junk and drama that is on there. When they get older, sure whatever, they can have it if they want, but right now while I can protect them, I am going to.
Some of you may think that Jacob and I chosing to not let them have a cell phone or have things like Instagram and Facebook, is a bit extreme. How often do things on there upset you or make you mad though? At their age and stage in their lives they don’t need the extra influence from that stuff, on top of everything else. I generally just think of it as this: if adults can see it and don’t like it, then why should kids be subjected to it. They are little sponges and soak up everything they hear and see, be it true or not. It definitely isn’t helping the state of their mental health at all. Sometimes they get upset because they aren’t like everyone else, but then they hear something crappy at school that started on Facebook and trickled into the real world, and then they admit they don’t need that.
Alright… Kiiiiinda got off on a little bit of a tangent there. The main message though is kiddos all over, of all ages, of all walks of life, are under more pressure than we ever were. So taking the time to check in with them, or shield them from certain things is beneficial and will help them in the long run.
There are those out there believe that counseling is embarrassing or talking about mental health is just for the severely troubled kiddos. This isn’t true at all! Counseling is for everyone. Participating in therapy also brings us closer together. I had been worried that both of my girls would no longer need to talk to me, or have me help them with their problems. This is also untrue! They still need their mama, and I will graciously be there for them every step of the way.
Subscribe to our email list below!
Be First to Comment