Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

DMDD for short, is a mental health disorder that is found in children and teens. It is often confused with Bipolar 1 Disorder, and can be very hard to diagnose. Some of the most common characteristics of this disorder are extreme irritability and being angry for no apparent reason. Kiddos with DMDD throw fits or tantrums that are above and beyond the reaction that would have been reasonable. An example of this would be if water spilled and it ruined a paper, a typical reaction for an 11 year old would be to say something like “well that’s lame” someone with DMDD shuts completely down, screams, throws things, and is in a downward spiral for quite some time. The water on the paper ruins their day, literally.

DMDD became diagnosable in 2013. Up until then kids all over were mis-diagnosed as having Bipolar 1 Disorder. Treatment is often related to other conditions that have some of the same symptoms, like anxiety disorders and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Unlike Bipolar 1 Disorder, kids can grow out of this as their brains and hormones change!

Our Story:

My daughter Emory was just diagnosed with DMDD a few months ago. Until then and some days still, it was and is a battle! Em has always had big emotions, expressing herself with the biggest smiles and loudest laughs. The longest fits and the most tears. She didn’t really like being told what to do in school or at home. When she was tiny she would get upset easily, and then would bounce back with her happy-go-lucky attitude.

It wasn’t until she got a little older, about the age of 10 that the happy moments we’re growing further and further apart. I had just found out I was pregnant, my niece and nephew came into my care, and we were moving. It all became too much for Emory to handle. She was angry all the time, what used to make her laugh pissed her off, and she stopped sleeping well at night.

There were screaming matches between her and I. Screaming matches between her and everyone close to her. She didn’t want to be around her friends any longer, she did want to be around anyone any more. She said he hated her dad and I. We searched for help, for something that would ease her pain. No one could help! We were at a loss.

After we moved, the tantrums seemed to stop for a big, but not long. She fell right back into being angry and lashing out. These outbursts were becoming more frequent and more intense. She was trashing her room, throwing things at me and saying things an 11 year old girl shouldn’t ever say. It was terrifying to see her go through this.

We got counseling started as soon as we could. Which helped a little. she was branching out, hanging out with her new friends and becoming happy again. Enter broken ankle. She shattered it the night before my niece and nephew moved back to Salem. Trampolines are a bitch. This intensified her anger. Now she was angry at her ankle, angry at herself for not staying off of the trampoline, and angry that she couldn’t move.

Since then though, we have continued counseling and psychiatrist appointments. They have set her up on some meds and she is working very hard! Kiddos with DMDD don’t need rigid structure because that just makes them more mad, they don’t need to learn respect because they aren’t intentionally trying to disrespect you. If anything, on the downswing of the fit, she says she is scared and doesn’t understand what going on with herself. They need parental support and psychiatric attention. This disorder can be very debilitating for the child, and the entire family.

Many nights I have cried to Jacob because I just want our little girl to be alright. I have tried the essential oils, soaking in a bath, taking a walk, just sitting with her, everything I could think of. Her big sister, Shelby, leaves the room with willow when an outburst happens. Because just as it is scary for Emory, it is scary for her siblings. This condition truly does resonate with the whole family, we all suffer together. Emory bares the brunt of it though.

It’s been an uphill battle with many falls along the way. But we are all working together and trying new things to help Emory cope with the ups and downs. Honestly, it’s not all bad any more, we are having more and more good days! It is important to keep talking about things like this though because mental health isn’t anything to be ashamed of. If you believe that your child is in need of help or may be experiencing DMDD please visit https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/disruptive-mood-dysregulation-disorder-dmdd/disruptive-mood-dysregulation-disorder.shtml for more information.